This is gonna be a double feature.
I wanted to review The Dark Tower last week, but then I also watched Detroit, and it ended up being the vastly superior movie, so now here we are. Oh and I also just don't have much to talk about with The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature, the film I watched because I give slightly more of a shit about it than Annabelle: Creation, even though Annabelle will most assuredly be the bigger movie. If you follow these reviews you will soon learn that I don't like “horror”, or what passes for it nowadays. NOW ONTO THE REVIEW!
The Dark Tower is not as bad as all the other reviews and your friend who read the books said. It's still kinda boring and leaves you feeling a little hollow afterwards, but for the most part it's a interesting story with some cool moments. I know that 10 year old me would have been in love with it, even if I hadn't read the books, cause some the gun fights are cool as hell. And Matthew McConaughey is actually a great villain, being both really convincingly evil and proactive. Idris Elba is not terrible but he doesn't do much more than brood, which he's good at.
The structure of the movie is sound, pretty much a standard first film in a series vibe, not too much to rant or hate on, although there are some weird pseudo montages after our protagonist Jake (Tom Taylor) meets the Gunslinger (Idris Elba), where a montage starts, but gets interrupted at what seems like halfway through and we get a small scene, which then just leads to another scene like normal, but then we get another montage which does the same thing. An odd thing to point out, I realize, but then again there's not much else I want to talk about. I guess the scenes where the Gunslinger is reacting to modern America are pretty funny, and they don't do it more than a couple times so it doesn't get old. I would take my kid to it and not feel bad.
However if I took my kid to see The Nut Job 2: Electric Boogaloo-wait-Nutty by Nature, I would feel bad. Really bad. It's not like this movie is offensively bad, I just don't think it has good value for kids. There a tons of other movies with better and more interesting things going on in them than this.
I will say that I have not seen the first one, but they do at least they give you the tiniest of recaps before hurling you into a movie that would make Tex Avery and Chuck Jones roll over in their graves. This movie has no sense of tact. It has absolutely insane action, that the characters seem completely oblivious to, and it happens when the animals are trying to keep their park safe, yet every action they take destroys the park further. It's Over the Hedge but with no redeeming quality.
The other big part of this movie is the Chinese influence seen in it, which is weird sentence to write about an American animated children's film. I thought it was odd to see a Chinese production company's logo in the beginning of this film, but then halfway through, two characters meet a gang of mice that are all kung fu masters living in the very Chinese part of the city, and their leader is voiced by Jackie Chan. And they also help save the day at the end. So that explains that. One thing that I want explained, that will probably NEVER be explained, is why a Korean Company would finance a film in 2014 based off of a short by a Canadian made in 2005. I guess some mysteries a better left unsolved.